Philosoraptor Meme Generator
You are in the shower at 7 in the morning when it hits you: if a towel dries you, what dries the towel? You stand there until the hot water runs out. You are late for work, but you are wiser.
In the supermarket queue you start to wonder whether using the self checkout makes you an employee. You aren't paid. The machine still shouts "unexpected item" at you. You decide this is what management feels like.
It's 2 in the morning and you realise you have never actually seen your own face, only mirrors and photos. You consider waking your partner. You wake your partner. They do not consider it profound.
On the school run your eight year old asks why it's called a building if it's already been built. You start to answer. You stop. You drive the rest of the way in silence, outthought by someone who can't tie their shoes.
Why it caught on: it began as a T-shirt drawing by LonnieMachin of a velociraptor with its claw on its chin, and spread as an advice animal around 2008. Everyone has a thought that feels like philosophy right up until they say it out loud.
Best Philosoraptor posts
- IF GUNS don't kill people, people kill people / does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?
- IF PRO IS THE OPPOSITE OF CON... / THEN WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF PROGRESS?
- IF GOD CREATED THE SUN ON THE FOURTH DAY / HOW HAD FOUR DAYS PASSED?
- if steroids are illegal for athletes / shouldn't photoshop be illegal for models?
- if you're hotter / than me, does that make me cooler than you?
- IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NOBODY HEARS IT / DOES A HIPSTER BUY ITS ALBUM?
- In Lion King 3D / does circle of life become sphere of life?
- WOULDNT IT BE IRONIC / IF SOMEONE DIED IN THE LIVING ROOM
- why do we cook bacon / and bake cookies?
- why do noses run / but feet smell?
- If black isn't a color / Then why are black people called the colored
- If we are what we eat / TheN are cannibals thE only real humans?
- cinderella's clothing disappeared at midnight / why didn't her shoe?
- Alcohol may be man's worst enemy / but the bible says to love your enemy
- If NOTHINGs faster than LIGHT, / How did darkness get there first?
- If McDonalds Is usIng 100% chicken now / wtf were they feeding us?
- If some day we all go to prison for downloading music / I hope they split us by the music genre
- If pinocchio says his nose will grow, / what happens?
- If teachers can't teach every subject / why do students have to learn them al?
- If seagulls lived by the bay / wOULD THEY BE bagels?