EVERYDAY I'M / SHOVELIN'
A Minecraft Guy post.
Your mum asks what you did today. "Punched a tree." She nods slowly, says "lovely", and goes into the kitchen to look up child psychologists. Science teacher explains gravity to the class. You've seen a tree hover in mid air with no trunk for three years and nothing has ever come down. You put your hand up. She doesn't take it. Eight hours of mining. You find three diamonds, shout so loudly the neighbours knock on the wall, take one step to the left and fall into lava. The diamonds burn. So does the evening. The sun sets. A grown adult with a mortgage and a pension digs a hole in a hill, seals himself in with dirt and waits for morning. He calls this being sensible. Outside, something hisses. **Why it caught on:** Steve is the default character of Minecraft, the game Markus "Notch" Persson started in 2009 and Mojang fully released in 2011, and millions of players knew its rules were absurd and followed them to the letter anyway.