Boobies
A All the things post.
Saturday, ten in the morning: you will clean ALL the things. By 10:40 the kitchen is spotless and you've had an idea about the loft. By two you're asleep on the sofa, under everything you got out of the loft. January the second: gym, meal prep, a language app and a running club. Do ALL the things. On January the ninth you're eating cereal in the car park, watching the running club go by. You went to IKEA for one lamp. You leave with a lamp, 40 tealights, a plant, a rug and seven storage boxes to organise ALL the things. In June the boxes are still flat, in the hall, organising nothing. The revision timetable is colour-coded, laminated and covers every subject, every hour, every day. Making it took the entire week of revision. **Why it caught on:** the battle cry comes from Allie Brosh's blog Hyperbole and a Half, from her 2010 post "This Is Why I'll Never Be an Adult", where the hero shouts "Clean ALL the things!" and then runs out of steam. Everyone knows the five heroic minutes, and the nap that comes after.